A message to the generations
To the older men….
Titus 2:1-2 (NIV)
1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.
2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
What is it that the older men should be reminded of or taught? Why?
Perhaps it is so that the younger men have a model, and example to follow. Here is the list.
Older men are to be temperate, or not extreme in behavior. They need to live in a way that is worthy of respect. They need to be those who are disciplined and exhibit faith, love, and endurance.
If I were writing a letter to an older man in the church I would write this:
Dear old Christian soldier,
I am watching you. For many years I have watched to talk about your faith, your love, and a God with whom you say you have a relationship with. I am watching to see if what you have professed is actually worth having. I want to know that this relationship with God you talked about has actually refined you, changed you, and made you into the person you talked about could be, rather than the person you were.
I will know this, because, as you age, you will argue less and love more. You will not be as concerned about your way being right, but you will be concerned with being right. You will be more concerned with what the hearer heard and less concerned with what you said.
I will watch your relationship with your wife, because a lifelong of loving her as Christ loved the church should be paying some dividend. I will watch what you do with your money and time, because you now have a lifelong savings in the bank, and an abundance of time. I want to know if you believe in generosity, or just talked about it. I want to see if you will trust God at your most vulnerable time, or if that was only for the good times when you had a backup plan.
I am watching to see if you actually believe in the sanctity of life and the idea that God makes no mistakes, by watching how you treat others who may be less fortunate than you in health, finances, and possibly even family. I am watching to see if you are just putting in time, or investing your life.
As I watch you, I pray for you and cheer you on, for you are the one who now stands in a prime position to say more with your life than you ever said with your words. Please do not mess us this most precious opportunity.
And to those who are young, I offer this advice. Pay attention. There are who have loved and walked with God and are saying something that you need to hear. Do not miss their message. There are others who live in self-absorbed lives who think that they have finally arrived at the point where they should now be served and honored the rest of their lives. Please love them, but do not allow them to influence you, for that is not the ultimate goal.
To the Christian women….
2.2.10Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Are there older women who are taking on this responsibility? Are there older women who are looking for younger women to train them to love their husbands and children? Are there older women who are praying for God to show them younger ladies with whom they can meet and mentor, so they can show them, teach them, and instruct them to be disciplined and pure, to love being a mom, and love their home (not their house). Are there older women who have a real desire to model submission to their husband, and to teach the next generation what that looks like and what that means?
I personally wonder if the older women get it. (I know, you can dismiss me as a messed up man, or you can hear out my frustration and weigh its validity.)
You would think that the mature women in the church would insist on certain things that we know are absolute, like modesty, for example. It seems to me that if you try and define modesty you're pegged as a legalist, and if you ignore it, you're not dealing with what is obviously God's will. (Hence you have a dilemma and remain silent.) There have been many times when I saw a young woman dressed in order to get attention. (My definition of modesty is this: One should wear clothes that do not bring attention to you and/or any body part.) You could watch the boys' heads turn as she walked by. It was not as if the girl was beautiful; she was just revealing. (It is amusing to see those who think they are beautiful when they are really just very revealing.) Then, some of her friends or even some older women would come up and talk to her and tell her how "cute" her outfit was. I was shocked at the "cute" line, and wondered where were the older women who are supposed to be teaching? This modesty thing is not a questionable thing in God's sight; it is something He addresses.
Honestly, I think women know exactly what they are doing. I think they buy clothes in order to be "eye candy" or turn heads. I have heard Christian girls talk of their outfits and say things like this when talking about what style of clothes to buy: "If you've got it, flaunt it." I think that women love to be pretty and noticed, and it might be the ultimate insult to be considered a "plain Jane."
I once went to view a Christian girl's family pictures on Facebook and saw a bunch of pictures of her and her Christian friends dressed and ready for prom. Their dresses revealed all, and I can only imagine what things looked like when they began to wiggle to the music. (Isn't that the problem, beginning to imagine?) There was nothing modest about it, but the older women in position of influence in these girls' lives, obviously defended what was going on, and encouraged it, rather than correct it.
I think women know exactly what they are doing when they dress this way, and I think that those who had the responsibility for teaching and did not will be held accountable. When I bring this subject up, usually women say something like "All men are warped" or "Get your mind out of the gutter" or "It does not matter what we wear, 'cause you will lust anyways." Perhaps. But what about God's direct teaching on modesty? What do we do with that?
Please, ladies, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that what I have observed is not true, and that it is isolated and unusual.
Or, change your behavior, for the sake of the King and the next generation.
As an older man….
Titus 2:6-8 (NIV)
6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.
7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness
8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
And what is it that young men need to be encouraged to do?
It starts with encouraging them to live self-controlled or disciplined lives.
What does that mean?
Well, really, it seems somewhat self-explanatory. Young men need to not allow their emotions, feelings, or urges to drive them. There is a right and wrong, and they need to live in the right, and avoid the wrong. They do not need to satisfy every desire. They need not satisfy every urge. It is not about instant gratification. It is about long-term success.
One does not learn self-control easily. It could be something that is done in a legalistic way that destroys one's faith and blurs the entire idea of a loving and meaningful relationship with God. It could be ignored, for fear of something that leads to legalism. It could be something we hope they catch.
Regardless of my personal stance, Paul tells Titus to encourage young men to be self-controlled so that is what I need to do. As an older Christian man, I need to encourage discipline. I need to model it, teach it, talk about it, and insist in it.
Why? Because it is an issue that God wants me to deal with. So, instead of arguing the validity of teaching self-control, I need to obey God and live and teach self-control.
I also need to encourage the men to raise the bar of their personal standards rather high. This standard of doing right should be applied to "everything." I need to encourage them to show an intentionality of purpose in life, to be disciplined in their speech, and to live in a way that unbelievers and carnal believers would be at a loss as to accusations.
I, as an older man, need to exhort, but I also need to exhibit.
I need to take this responsibility seriously.
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